Wedding Planning Survival Guide Part 2

So you've chosen your rings and you set the big date. Now how do you make your wedding happen without ending up in a padded cell?

Many brides do not get the luxury of enjoying their wedding day because of all the stress. We're here to tell you how to get through this so you can "enjoy" your special day.

Here are some important survival steps that you must make before you tie the knot!

Choose a Flexible Location

In an averaged priced wedding, you can expect to pay around $11,000 in location costs. This includes the venue, decorations and food.

Here are some ways to save money when booking a venue:

1. Get married in the off season

2. Getting married on a Thursday or Friday night vs. a Saturday can save a considerable amount of money. You can save 15 to 25% by getting married on a Thursday alone.

Before you choose the location to have the wedding ceremony at, here are some questions that you should ask:

1. Are any special permits needed?

2. Is there a music curfew?

3. Can you light candles?

4. Can you bring your own caterer or do you have to hire theirs?

5. Can you bring your own booze or do you have to buy from the location?

6. Ask about additional and hidden charges! For example, some places will charge for every little last thing, including china, chair covers and in some places, even charge a cake cutting fee.

Even though some of these things may seem minor, they can turn out to be a big problem in the end if not addressed in the beginning.

Be specific about what you want and make sure you are getting what you are paying for.

1. If you are getting married in the summer, are you paying for coat check and is it necessary?

2. Read the fine print.

Don't have a lot of money to spend? Well her's a way to look expensive without spending a lot of money - serve expensive appetizers. Filet minion or lobster tails can be served in bite-sized pieces. This makes guests feel very special and they don't eat very much because its just an appetizer. You can serve something simple like a pasta dish for the main course.

If you are having a cocktail hour, keep in mind that rule of thumb is that you need to have at least three square feet per guest when you are trying to calculate how much room you need.

One thing I must point out that it is very important to check what is going on in the surrounding area from where your reception is. It would be terrible if you were to have a small three piece string band trying to entertain your guests with a major rap party going on next door.

Let Fashion Breathe

If there is one thing that can be more frustrating that choosing a wedding venue, it would be choosing your wedding attire.

Before you start trying on your gown, you should have already made a few choices. When you visit a bridal gown shop for the first time, you should really already have your wedding date planned and your venue selected. Without this, it can be difficult to choose the correct dress for the occasion.

Here are some pointers to help you through choosing your wedding gown:

1. Try on dresses over the course of several days.

2. Don't pick the first one you fall in love with. Come back to it and see it again when you've had a chance to sleep on it.

3. If you can take pictures of the dresses, this would be helpful, but many of the bridal shops don't allow this.

4. Find a bridal shop that is close to home or work. You will be making several trips back and forth and you don't want to be driving miles every time you go.

5. Fittings take time. Allow about 8 months to get the gown made.

Smart shoppers can sometimes get the gown of their dreams without going to the poorhouse. Check with some of the stores as sometimes they have sample sales where you can get some great deals. And don't forget the Internet. You can find many gowns online at reduced prices and then even turn around and sell it later at an online auction site.

What about the bridesmaids? Times have changed from the days where all the bridesmaids wore the exact same gown. You don't necessarily have to go with a one piece gown anymore. Separates have become popular where you can choose your own top and skirt. Another option is to simply choose your color and/or fabric and let the bridesmaids choose their own gowns. This way no matter whether they are short, tall, fat or thin, they will be able to find something that makes them look their best.

Pick Smart Decorations

Like everything else in your wedding, choosing flowers requires you to be organized. After all, if you fall into the category of a $22.000 wedding, you will be spending upwards of $1500 on flowers alone.

The following it what you should bring to the florist:

1. Your inspiration

2. Pictures of your attire

3. Swatches of your dress and bridesmaids dresses

4. Pictures of your location if you have them

Have you ever thought of lemons, oranges or pink champagne grapes as your centerpiece? Or how about your salad, such as an antipasto display laid out as a centerpiece? You can have individual wedding cakes on the tables so when you cut your cake, your guests can cut their cakes. Centerpieces can be anything you like. Keep in mind though to make sure your centerpieces are not so high that your guests have to stand up or peek through to see the person across from them.

Hint: If you are having your wedding outdoors, dryer sheets make a great mosquito repellent. Put them in the bridal bouquet and other arrangements to keep pesky critters away!

Last minute advice:

Great! So you've made it this far and are now ready to take those steps down the aisle. But before you do, here are some ideas that will help you to remember your special day for the rest of your life.

1. Take some time on the day of your wedding, to sit down and write about your thoughts, the smells, what did the food taste like, did your grandmother wink at you during the ceremony. Make this like a little letter to yourself and whenever you read it, the memories will come flooding back.

2. On your wedding day, rather than thinking of all the things that need to be done, get a massage, have lunch with your best friend or have a chat with your mother. The idea is to create an oasis of "calm". Dream about what the day is going to be like, not what you might have forgotten to do because it should be all done by now.

3. Don't have outlandish expectations. Have you ever seen a perfect wedding? No such thing. There's beautiful weddings, outstanding weddings and wonderful weddings, but there are no perfect weddings.

4. Between the wedding and reception, find some time alone with just you and your spouse. It will be your only private moment all day.

5. And the last tip is be prepared for a wedding day crisis. If you are, then it will be much easier to relax. A well stocked emergency kit is a must have. Wedding emergency kits can contain almost everything from jumper cables (incase the limo doesn't start) to black socks (incase one of the groomsmen forgets to bring them - it does happen!). They also contain, aspirin, saline solution, safety pins, nail files, masking tape, super glue and more.

No matter what kind of an event you plan, the goal is to live happily ever after.

Evelyn Whitaker writes articles for German Toasting Glasses http://www.german-toasting-glasses.com which specializes in custom engraved wedding gifts from Germany.

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Selecting a Wedding Reception Venue

The place where you decide to host your wedding reception will really set the tone for the event. You want to find a place that is attractive, convenient, competent, and affordable. Finding one venue that meets all of those needs can be a bit challenging. Here are some things to consider when you visit possible reception sites...

If you are having your ceremony in a house of worship, how far is it from there to the venue? Twenty minutes might be a reasonable drive for your guests, but an hour would not be. The closer that they are, the happier everyone will be. This means that if you want to have your marriage ceremony in the church you attended growing up, you may have to give up on the reception venue you had your heart set on if the two are not close together.

How many guests can the site accommodate? It is very important to have a realistic idea of your guest count before signing a contract for a location. It is not at all uncommon for a bride and groom to have their eye on a spot only to find out that the fire marshal has set the occupancy limits well below their head count. Even if you can technically cram everyone into a room, will there be enough space for a good flow, or will it feel cramped and overcrowded?

The style of the venue is probably the thing that couples pay the most attention to, because it will help determine the style for the wedding as a whole. If you imagine yourself in a satin ball gown with dazzling crystal bridal jewelry, then an elegant setting with chandeliers and rich draperies will be perfect for you. Look at ballrooms in swanky hotels, opera houses, and even art museums. A bride who imagines herself in unique handmade wedding jewelry instead of opulent crystal bridal jewelry will look for a totally different sort of venue, such as an outdoor location.

Once you have found a venue that suits your guest list and taste, it is time to get down to details. Obviously, the price is going to be a major factor. What is the facility rental fee? Do they allow you to bring in your own caterer or must you use theirs? Are service fees included in the quote, or are they additional? These are the sort of things that you will need to weigh. Also factor in other costs, such as rentals. For instance, a country club might have a higher site fee than some outdoor locations, but if they provide everything that you will need, you might save money in the long run, once you have added in the cost of all of the rentals required at a location that doesn't provide basics like tables, china, and linens.

After you have narrowed your list of venues down to two or three top choices, you will want to find out more about the quality of their services. Ask for a list of recommendations. Be sure to follow up and call those former clients to be certain that they were pleased with the final results of their event, as well as with the customer service during the planning stages. You can also ask around in the community to find out about the reputation of a site. Bridal shops are often a good source of information, because if one of their brides has been having problems with her reception venue, they will have heard all about it.

The final step in selecting a venue is to make sure that they have a suitable date available. Popular locations will book up one to three years in advance, so it is a good idea to start your search as soon as that engagement ring is on your finger. If you have your heart set on a very hot spot in your area, it will pay to be flexible about your date and time. You may not be able to score the third Saturday in June, but perhaps they could fit you in on a Friday night instead. Then sign you contract, and your venue will be all set.

Choosing your reception venue early is very wise because it will help you in deciding about all of the other elements of your wedding. The place that you decide to hold your wedding will set the tone for everything else. Choose a place that you really love, and your wedding reception will be that much more delightful.

Look to Bridget for advice on planning your wedding. Check out how we can help with your bridesmaids jewelry at SilverlandJewelry.com. Crystal bridal jewelry makes the perfect finishing touch for an elegant wedding.

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Choosing a Wedding Date -- When You're Feeling Indecisive

He (or she!) asked the question you probably longed for, and fortunately for everyone, you answered 'yes'! Now's the time to bask in the romance, and enjoy the first phase of your new life together. But soon, you'll need a response for that timeless question: "when's the wedding?"

For some couples, it's easy - they know just when they want to tie the knot. For others, it's less clear. After all, you have a lot of options. Even more than you might think, since it's really not necessary to get married on a Saturday. Friday and Sunday afternoons are good choices too, and less expensive.

So if you're looking at the calendar ahead and seeing a hundred alternatives, all about equally attractive, here's how to narrow them down.

Must-have venues

No matter how flexible you are, there's bound to be things you won't compromise on. Maybe it's a particular church, temple and officiant for your ceremony. Maybe it's a special venue for your reception. And there are certain indispensable guests, like your parents.

Luckily for you, putting just these three things together is bound to reduce your choices. Once you call on the church/temple, ceremony venue or reception hall, you'll probably find many dates already filled, especially if you call less than nine months in advance. Good. That makes things easier!

Must-have ambiance

But maybe you don't have a must-have venue. Maybe you just have an image in your mind of the perfect wedding. Maybe it involves falling snow, ermine mantles, a horse-drawn carriage, and a crackling fireplace. Maybe it involves stacks of shiny apples, heaped pumpkins, a scattering of leaves and the scent of cranberry-apple cider. Or delicate pastels, gossamer pashminas for the bridesmaids, and a dove release. In this case your time of year is set: all that's needed it to work out the logistics of venue, local climate and the availability of your most important guests.

Must-have flowers

Some people know exactly what floral arrangements they want at their wedding. Flowers are such an enormous part of the wedding budget, if particular ones are important to you, you might want to arrange your date around them. Unless you're an heiress, for example, you'll want to avoid buying roses for your Valentine's Day wedding. On the other hand, December and January are great months to buy calla lilies. To study flower availability charts, Google for "flower availability by month."

Must-have honeymoons

If you have your heart set on a certain destination, you'll probably find the honeymoon helps set the date for you. Chances are, some dates are good for travel but others involve the risk of hurricanes or lengthy rains.

Limited budget

For now, winter is the slow wedding season. So it's often (though not always) true that you can get a break on expenses by having your ceremony during the holidays. Brides often find that by marrying near Christmas, they benefit from already-decorated churches and don't need to add much themselves.

Plus, if they shop the year before, they can stock up on decorations at incredibly discounted post-holiday sales. The trick is to avoid competing with office parties for reception venues and limousines (New Year's Eve is particularly competitive).

Another factor to consider, besides the possibility of dismal weather, is how many guests are due from out-of-town. Flying in for a holiday wedding can strain any family's Christmas budget, plus airlines often charge extra during the season.

If you need to keep expenses in check but want to avoid winter, make sure you steer clear of proms, graduation, "parents' day" at colleges, major sporting events and other local events.

"Life" dates

You might find your own life gives more guidance than you think. Are you a teacher, with set vacation times? Are you graduating from college or ending an internship? Are many of your relations students, available only during the holidays or the summer? If you're working, is your vacation time limited to a certain time of year?

And if many guests are flying in, will Labor Day weekend or Memorial Day weekend give them time to get acclimated and enjoy your big day? If none of these apply, is there a date that has special significance to you as a couple, such as the date you first met or first dated?

"Auspicious" dates

Many people find little extra dash of comfort in picking auspicious days for their wedding. In India and China, this is standard practice. But even in the West, people often find it reassuring to pick numbers or dates with personal meaning. A Chinese custom is to select a date with as many even numbers as possible (such as 2-18-2006). The Irish believed that New Year's Eve is luckiest for weddings. The Romans (and consequently, modern westerners) favored the month of June. For Victorians, it was lucky to marry on the groom's birthday.

Blake Kritzberg is editor of FavorIdeas. Stop by for fresh autumn wedding ideas and a completely indulgent collection of autumn wedding favors.

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Black Friday Wedding Planning - Use Holiday Sales to Stretch Your Budget For Your Perfect Wedding

Here's the not-so-fun reality. Almost every couple fights about money during the wedding planning process. Even people with a lot of money can find the expenses getting away from them, and so people with a lot less have a difficult time stretching the money to fit. And now that we're in a recession, it may feel foolhardy to spend what you were planning to spend. So how do you get around that? Use Black Friday and the Holiday sales to work to your advantage. During the holidays, and during every other time, it's better to be using your time working together and building up successes to celebrate. The 60s weren't all wrong with their "Make Love, Not War" slogans! More love making and less fighting makes for a much more fun wedding (and marriage.). So, see what you can do:

• As you make your plans to do your holiday shopping, take a good look at your wedding list. What had you planned to buy and what had you planned to rent? Copy that list along with prices. Remember the gift list for important support people during the wedding. Now is a great time to get sparkly bridesmaid jewelry at a good price. Or your alcohol.


• Go together, or divvy the list up according to who shops for what in your partnership.


• Take your list with you as you hit the mall or your local independent stores.


• See what shows up on holiday discount that fits what's on your list.


• Do not be seduced into buying things that AREN'T on your list, just because they're cheap. That's how budgets get lost.


• If you're taking care of some part of the food, is the wedding close enough that you can buy food and take advantage of the holiday sales? (You do need to have storage!)


• Experience the heady success of checking things off your wedding list.

Then go home and spend time planning your wedding ceremony and dreaming of the marriage you want to create. Once you have those dreams, start building wedding vows that will help you make your marriage goals reachable ones. Live into the future -- and take advantage of the Black Friday and holiday sales.

Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding ceremony of your dreams, the wedding vows of your heart and the marriage of a lifetime: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free

The Rev. Ann Keeler Evans - helping you move from "I do" to happily and healthily ever after!

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